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| From New Album 2/19/09 12:15 PM |
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| From New Album 2/19/09 12:15 PM |
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Angela's cake
Here are some pictures of a cake I made for my friend, Angela. Her baby shower was this morning. I wanted the cake to coordinate with Angela's decor in her baby room. I think it turned out well. She paid me the best compliment by saying that she could put the cake right into the baby room and it would go perfectly. She used grey/silver and pink colors and the style is antiquey and modern. The grey/silver accents I was planning didn't turn out but I actually like it better than what I had planned. The cake was vanilla (using yummy real vanilla from my friend, Melissa). The layers were filled with raspberry buttercream and fresh raspberries. Fluffy white buttercream covered the outside. It was yum yum yummy!!!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Not this time...
We can put a close to this cycle, now. My numbers didn't double like they were supposed to. It's very disappointing. We are still glad we did IVF and we'll be coming back to California for our frozen embryos. Thank you so much for all the prayers, love, and support. We can't tell you how much it means to us to have so many people praying for us. Thank you!
I've decided that this whole fertility experience is like a concert. We bought the tickets, ate a great dinner, took great care in getting ourselves ready, got to the show early, sat in our great seats...it's showtime...the curtains open, the crowd cheers, and there's an empty stage, no one's there, the band didn't show up. The curtains close, lights come up, we hang our heads in disappointment, walk out to our car and say better luck, next time. Next door, is another arena where we see people coming out of their concert with huge smiles on their faces and autographed souvenirs, they got to meet the band. We sit in our cars and wonder what went wrong, then we drive home hopeful that the next time we go to a concert the band will show up.
We don't understand all of this, yet. We trust in God and know that He sees the whole picture. We will be strong, take heart, and wait for the Lord.
On the lighter side...many of you know that I have been following a fertility diet recommended by my doctor. Olivia is very familiar with the "rules" of the diet and frequently let's me know when I am not following them. For the past 2 1/2 weeks I followed the diet very strictly, until last night, I had a small sliver of bread. So, we were walking Charlie, today, and I told Olivia I was sad because I didn't have a baby in my tummy. She said with complete honesty, "Ummm, I think it was because you ate the bread, last night, Mommy." She made me laugh so hard.
Stephen and I have always wanted to adopt a baby. We will start pursuing that option, this year. If any of you know any pregnant mothers that are looking for an adoptive family, we would lovingly welcome that baby into our hearts and our home.
Thank you, again, for all your prayers.
I've decided that this whole fertility experience is like a concert. We bought the tickets, ate a great dinner, took great care in getting ourselves ready, got to the show early, sat in our great seats...it's showtime...the curtains open, the crowd cheers, and there's an empty stage, no one's there, the band didn't show up. The curtains close, lights come up, we hang our heads in disappointment, walk out to our car and say better luck, next time. Next door, is another arena where we see people coming out of their concert with huge smiles on their faces and autographed souvenirs, they got to meet the band. We sit in our cars and wonder what went wrong, then we drive home hopeful that the next time we go to a concert the band will show up.
We don't understand all of this, yet. We trust in God and know that He sees the whole picture. We will be strong, take heart, and wait for the Lord.
On the lighter side...many of you know that I have been following a fertility diet recommended by my doctor. Olivia is very familiar with the "rules" of the diet and frequently let's me know when I am not following them. For the past 2 1/2 weeks I followed the diet very strictly, until last night, I had a small sliver of bread. So, we were walking Charlie, today, and I told Olivia I was sad because I didn't have a baby in my tummy. She said with complete honesty, "Ummm, I think it was because you ate the bread, last night, Mommy." She made me laugh so hard.
Stephen and I have always wanted to adopt a baby. We will start pursuing that option, this year. If any of you know any pregnant mothers that are looking for an adoptive family, we would lovingly welcome that baby into our hearts and our home.
Thank you, again, for all your prayers.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Happy Valentine's Day!
When I asked Olivia a few days ago what she wanted to do on Valentine's Day, she said, "I want to hang out together as a family, enjoy eachother, love eachother, go for a hike...things like that." She cracks me up sometimes. She got her wish. We enjoyed a wonderful day together as a family. We got to eat some yummy food at our favorite sushi place, Zakuro. We hope that everyone had a wonderful Valentine's Day!
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| From New Album 2/14/09 7:16 PM |
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| From New Album 2/14/09 7:16 PM |
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| From New Album 2/14/09 7:16 PM |
Thursday, February 12, 2009
And These Are the Days of Our Fertile (?) Lives...
My friend Melissa keeps telling me we should write a comic strip about our fertility experiences. I have to admit there have been some really funny moments. I hope that looking back on this IVF experience we will think this is also funny. I'm thinking now that a soap opera would be better suited and here's why...
I still have no definitive answer as to whether I am pregnant or not. I have been in this limbo world since Tuesday morning. It felt like an eternity just getting to Tuesday and now we still don't know any more than we did. My HCG level was at a 2 on Tuesday which is very low. I think 5 is the normal cut off for not pregnant. They cautioned me that this is probably not a pregnancy but it could be. Dr Z said that they have had someone that started as a 2 then went on to have a viable pregnancy.
So, I had to go this morning (Thursday) for another blood draw. Su called and said that my HCG number doubled to 4 which is somewhat good news. However, it still does not mean I am pregnant. They cautioned me that this is probably not a pregnancy. I was told to continue on as if I am pregnant, though- progesterone shots, estrogen patches, fertility diet, no exercise, etc. BUT don't get excited. HAHA! I wanted to say "You've GOT to be kidding me!"
I will go back on Wednesday the 18th for another blood draw. They want to see my numbers at 32 or higher. Until then, we will remain cautiously optomistic, as my friend, Michelle, likes to put it.
To sum it all up...I'm probably not pregnant but there is a slight chance I might be, don't grieve yet don't celebrate either, proceed as if you are pregnant, keep getting shots in the butt, not eating all the foods you crave, and no sex. Happy Valentine's Day, honey! haha.
Please, continue to pray!
To be continued...
I still have no definitive answer as to whether I am pregnant or not. I have been in this limbo world since Tuesday morning. It felt like an eternity just getting to Tuesday and now we still don't know any more than we did. My HCG level was at a 2 on Tuesday which is very low. I think 5 is the normal cut off for not pregnant. They cautioned me that this is probably not a pregnancy but it could be. Dr Z said that they have had someone that started as a 2 then went on to have a viable pregnancy.
So, I had to go this morning (Thursday) for another blood draw. Su called and said that my HCG number doubled to 4 which is somewhat good news. However, it still does not mean I am pregnant. They cautioned me that this is probably not a pregnancy. I was told to continue on as if I am pregnant, though- progesterone shots, estrogen patches, fertility diet, no exercise, etc. BUT don't get excited. HAHA! I wanted to say "You've GOT to be kidding me!"
I will go back on Wednesday the 18th for another blood draw. They want to see my numbers at 32 or higher. Until then, we will remain cautiously optomistic, as my friend, Michelle, likes to put it.
To sum it all up...I'm probably not pregnant but there is a slight chance I might be, don't grieve yet don't celebrate either, proceed as if you are pregnant, keep getting shots in the butt, not eating all the foods you crave, and no sex. Happy Valentine's Day, honey! haha.
Please, continue to pray!
To be continued...
Friday, February 6, 2009
Innocence
We are playing the waiting game here...waiting to find out if this is a pregnancy. Olivia has said and done some precious things, lately. I have to write them down somewhere.
Olivia has been talking to the embryos. The other day she gently leaned into my belly and whispered, "Do you want to play kick ball?" My heart melted.
We snuggle a lot here at our house. Olivia has been especially wanting to lay tummy to tummy, so that in her words, "I want to keep the embryos warm, Mommy."
Just a few minutes ago we were snuggling for quiet time. She ducked under the covers and lay her ear on my tummy. "Mommy, they're talking to me." I asked her what they said. "It's a secret, Mommy." She leaned to my ear and whispered, "They said that they love you and me." I asked her to tell them that we love them, also.
What innocence children have!
At playgroup this morning, I watched Olivia take care of a new 2 yr old in the group. She was teaching her how to bowl. Olivia kept the little girl at a distance from the balls and even held her hands at one point. I told her to let go of her. "Mommy, I don't want her to pinch her fingers." She picked out the color ball this little girl wanted, toted it to the ramp, and set it right on top. She let the little girl push it down. The girl's Mom and I were watching them and laughing. Her Mom asked if I had any other children. I said no but hopefully soon. Her Mom said, "Wow, she's gonna make a great big sister." I think so, too.
I just read a little devotion and the verse was from Psalm 139:14 "I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made." It says that if we want an example of God's creative handiwork, look in the mirror. Well, all I have to do is look at Olivia and see the masterpiece He created. Thank you, God.
On a side note...Olivia would play dolls all day, if I let her. If she wants me to play with her and her doll family, she tells me that their family is Vegetarian and they only eat fruits and vegetables. So funny. She knows what Mommy likes. :-)
Olivia has been talking to the embryos. The other day she gently leaned into my belly and whispered, "Do you want to play kick ball?" My heart melted.
We snuggle a lot here at our house. Olivia has been especially wanting to lay tummy to tummy, so that in her words, "I want to keep the embryos warm, Mommy."
Just a few minutes ago we were snuggling for quiet time. She ducked under the covers and lay her ear on my tummy. "Mommy, they're talking to me." I asked her what they said. "It's a secret, Mommy." She leaned to my ear and whispered, "They said that they love you and me." I asked her to tell them that we love them, also.
What innocence children have!
At playgroup this morning, I watched Olivia take care of a new 2 yr old in the group. She was teaching her how to bowl. Olivia kept the little girl at a distance from the balls and even held her hands at one point. I told her to let go of her. "Mommy, I don't want her to pinch her fingers." She picked out the color ball this little girl wanted, toted it to the ramp, and set it right on top. She let the little girl push it down. The girl's Mom and I were watching them and laughing. Her Mom asked if I had any other children. I said no but hopefully soon. Her Mom said, "Wow, she's gonna make a great big sister." I think so, too.
I just read a little devotion and the verse was from Psalm 139:14 "I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made." It says that if we want an example of God's creative handiwork, look in the mirror. Well, all I have to do is look at Olivia and see the masterpiece He created. Thank you, God.
On a side note...Olivia would play dolls all day, if I let her. If she wants me to play with her and her doll family, she tells me that their family is Vegetarian and they only eat fruits and vegetables. So funny. She knows what Mommy likes. :-)
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Mathews, two embryos, please.
Just to update everyone....All the procedures went great and the IVF is complete. I went, yesterday, for the transfer. After Dr. Z got me all set up, he called the lab and said, "Mathews, two embryos, please." That was so funny to me. It was like he was ordering room service or something. They transfered two absolutely beautiful blastocyst embryos to my uterus. They gave us pictures of the blastocysts which was so cool! It was sad to say goodbye to Su, Anna, Dr. Z and the rest of the staff at the Clinic. I can't say enough good things about everyone at California IVF. The Embryologist and first babysitter, Deb, really impressed me and made me thank God that she's so much smarter than I am. :-) Su and Anna were sent from God to help Olivia and I through this year of fertility treatments. Su's calm, soft, caring voice and beautiful smile...she's an angel. Anna's welcoming face, genuine love for Olivia, and desire to help everyone....angel! Sometimes the drive to Davis would get tiring, an hour one way. The only thing Olivia would look forward to was seeing Anna and reading some of her fairytale books. They touched our hearts. We will hopefully be seeing them one more time before we head out of town. Keep praying. I'll keep everyone posted.
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